Smoke Yourself Thin

I'm in bed a few nights ago, past midnight, wide awake. I'm jittery and antsy and can't seem to relax. The next night, the exact same thing. What the hell is going on?

At first I reasoned my new healthier lifestyle was simply resulting in an increased level of energy. I've noticed a huge difference in my energy level in almost all facets of my life. I used to think I was just a naturally lazy person. Evidently, I was just fat.

Still, I've been sleeping VERY well since starting the Rehab Diet and haven't had any trouble falling asleep at a reasonable hour (on average, about an hour earlier). Then it dawned on me - the tea! My restlessness started just a few days after introducing Green Tea into my diet. Could a single cup of tea with a relatively low amount of caffeine be keeping me up fifteen hours later?

A 1984 report from the AMA Council on Scientific Affairs states, " Moderate tea or coffee drinkers probably need to have no concern for their health relative to their caffeine consumption provided other lifestyle habits (diet, alcohol consumption) are moderate, as well." - (Ref.: International Food Information Council)

So my overall health is not in peril, but what about my ability to get to sleep at night? Caffeine is absorbed by the body very quickly and has a half life of approximately five hours which means that by nightfall, my body should be caffeine-free. Still, I decided to stop drinking tea and see if it made a difference – and it did. Since shelving the green tea, I've had no problems getting or staying asleep.

Maybe this is all in my head. Or maybe I was jacked up for some completely unrelated reason. Or maybe my body has grown hyper-sensitive to caffeine since coming off it. Whatever it is, I've decided the supposed weight loss benefits of tea just aren't worth the caffeine. Which got me thinking: If caffeine-free tea doesn't contain the same "benefits," are the Green Tea's and Wulong's and Oolong's and Wu Tang's that claim to aid in weight loss simply pumping a little extra caffeine in your system?

Early over the counter diet pills contained massive amounts of caffeine. As a stimulant and a diuretic, many have made the link between caffeine and an increased metabolism and suppressed appetite. This is no doubt why foods that contain caffeine naturally have been hyped as "safe" alternatives to aid in weight loss. Add an ancient Chinese proverb proclaiming it's miraculous benefits, and you've got a multi-billion dollar industry on your hands.

Unfortunately for those of us looking for a quick fix, the scientific studies suggesting a link between weight loss and tea come with a disclaimer: "by virtue of its high content of caffeine." In other words, this stuff is great, but no caffeine = no weight loss.

There's another highly addictive stimulant that jacks up your heart rate and is a natural diuretic. Who knows, maybe one day "Smoke Yourself Thin" will be just as popular as these Tea Diets are today.


DISCLAIMER: I understand green tea is chocked full of beneficial antioxidants that most fatties would do well to get more of. However, most of those benefits can be obtained through other foods (or even supplements) without the negative side effects of caffeine. Am I being way too hyper-critical of a little bit of caffeine in the system? Maybe, but coming off it was enough to convince me I don't want anything to do with it. Besides, as most advocates of the wonders of tea admit, just one cup isn't going to be that beneficial.