Step 3 - Exercise

One of my favorite skinny lies is "just get off your fat butt and start moving - worry about your diet later." This is obviously someone who's never had to slather Vaseline between their legs so they don't rub themselves raw after a walk. Now I know there are plenty of skinny people out there that claim exercise is an appetite suppressant. And maybe it is... to them. Take it from someone with "fat"hand knowledge, exercise makes big people want to eat. A lot!

A few years ago I was in a slightly healthier place and worked out with a trainer a few times a week. It was nice to get my ass kicked by her workouts and I felt better about myself for doing them, but I never really lost any weight. I soon realized the problem. A few hours after working out I was ravenous. So I did what any self-respecting fat person would do – I stuffed my face to an even greater degree than I would have had I not worked out. After a few months, I felt like I was just pissing in the wind and stopped the sessions.

So do I think you have to exercise to lose weight?

Of course not. I've already lost four pounds by modifying my diet. I suspect a fat person could lose a substantial amount of weight with changes to their diet alone. But even if you go on a Gandhi regimen, at some point your body's going to figure out what you're up to and will adjust your metabolism accordingly. I think these are the proverbial walls dieters run into after initial periods of success. I also think the best way to crash through those walls is by exercise.

So, if I know exercise will make me hungry but I also know I need to do it in order to ultimately realize my goals, what's a fatty to do? I figure the best course of action is to take it slow. Very slow.

First off, given my overall level of health (or lack thereof), I've got no business suiting up for a marathon anyway. I'll take a walk around the block. Take the dog. Take the kids. Hopefully, it won't even feel like I'm doing anything healthy.

Second, too many off us hear "you should be exercising an hour a day," and so we hit the ground with both feet running. Then the muscles get sore. The body aches. The boss makes you work late. The next day it rains. It doesn't take much to get discouraged and throw in the towel.

Third, my hope is that by not trying to turn myself into Jack LaLanne overnight, I won't subject myself to any uncontrollable cravings for mass quantities of food.

So I've set an attainable goal of three times a week for thirty or so minutes at a time. A walk. A bike ride. I'll try to do it Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but if the weather or life in general doesn't cooperate I should easily be able to make it up another day. And I will try to remember this - the majority of the people I see out exercising don't look like they need to.

My goal is to become one of them...